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i wanna let g0 and kn0w that i'll be alright [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
s0 just let g0 and fall int0 it

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v0m [Apr. 15th, 2010|11:41 am]
I'm so nervous I might actually throw up. I know I say that sometimes, but I've felt nauseous BIG TIME since I woke up. Even watching Bones didn't help; instead of cheering me up this week's episode made me think about other areas of my life I'm. trying very hard to not think about. It probably wouldn't be as bad if I didn't love Hodgins so much. I realized that I'm essentially him. Except that we're all pretty sure things will work out for him. I don't have writers or a fanbase to revolt if my life doesn't turn out quite so perfectly.

But I REALLY don't want to think about that. So instead I will sit here, nauseated and scared out of my mind, in Irish class, writing on my phone and not paying a whit of attention to verb conjugations. good grades are overrated. I want a manicure. And a puppy. But mostly I want a stiff drink and a cuddle.

(no subject) [Aug. 28th, 2006|10:22 am]
Okay, so, I lied. I'm just going to protect all of my entries. Every single one. So... Leave a comment and I will add you. Rawr.
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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2006|12:45 am]
I'm moving elsewhere. Leave me a comment if you want to know where to find me.


a beach truth [Jul. 22nd, 2006|08:39 pm]
[feeling |pensivepensive]
[stuck in head |0ur finest year :: better than ezra]

I think I discovered one of those beach truths today. I was just sitting there kind of hazed out, watching some little kids play in the waves, and it came to me that they look just like the bigger boys farther out. The waves were the exact same person-size-to-wave-size ratio for both. So essentially it was the same magnitude for the little boys as it was for the teenagers and grown men. So isn’t it true, then, that the experiences and problems we have as a child are just as monumental, just as big and important, as the ones we have as an adult? And isn’t it also true that a lot of adults ignore or minimize the problems of a child like a guy who’s 6” would just shrug off a little teeny wave? Even though to the child it is a big deal. Little Tommy would be just as heartbroken when Suzy, the girl he is madly in love with on the playground, runs away from him when he tries to kiss her as big Tommy would be when Suzanne leaves him for the guy from the hot dog place. You know?

I don’t know, maybe that’s all crap that I just pulled out of my bum when I was in a sun-induced coma (I did manage to get some nice burns today) but it makes sense to me. It justifies that my experiences do mean something to me, to my life, that they are significant, even if it’s only for the moment.
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survey! [Jul. 20th, 2006|05:47 am]
[feeling |rejuvenatedrejuvenated]

I love the beach. Having water forced in my nose, throat, and ears. Smelling like salt water. Coming home and deciding it would be a bad idea to take off my bathing suit before getting in the shower because if I did the pound of sand would be all over the floor. Brushing seaweed out of my hair. Trying to blow water out my nose and having it come out my ears. Good times, gooood times.

No, really, I do love the beach. Karl's coming down tomorrow for two days, so that should be... interesting. And if "Beryl" fucks up the rest of my week, I will cry. Quite a bit.

Anyone want to start a podcast with me? My laptop is begging for one and my dad is crazy about them (he read a book and he thinks he knows everything) so I think I'll look into it. Maybe a Diva one. So a survey: if the Divas did a live podcast, would you listen? Let me know.
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(no subject) [Jul. 19th, 2006|01:50 am]
Mom: You know, we didn't buy you this expensive laptop so you could take DVDs out from the library and rip them.

Me: I know, it's just a happy bonus.

That Ocean County Library Card we paid for it is really proving it's worth. w00t.

(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2006|09:03 pm]
[feeling |peacefulpeaceful]
[stuck in head |0ur finest year :: better than ezra]

1. Grab the nearest book. (Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.)
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"If it happened to me, I suppose I would," said the man." --The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub

Yeah, I've decided to read that again because I bought the sequel a few weeks ago for like $3 but I can't remember anything about The Talisman itself. Ho hum.

Erf, I have 6 ENORMOUS mosquito bites. I haven't been bitten this badly in YEARS. It looks like I'm sprouting extra ankle bones from various points on my calves. Oh excuse me, 7. There's a little tiny one right next to one of the big ones that I hadn't seen. Argh!!! Bless topical anestetics. Dermoplast is my savior.

In other news, I succeeded in being not burned on my first day on the beach. That's probably because I was only down there for about an hour and a half, but don't really care. I got a little red in my "chestal area", the part that never really gets any sun and apparently got only lightly smothered in my spf 15, but it doesn't really hurt much or anything, so I'm not counting it. I only stayed there for an hour an a half because it was literally hot as hell here yesterday and the humidity was impressive. Normally one rectifies this by going in the water, but I haven't been to the beach in 2 years (the day at Barcelona notwithstanding) and I'd completely forgotten that freshly shaved legs sting like all hell in salt water.

So today I think I'm going to spend some quality time on my deck with Mr's King & Straub and then maybe I shall go to the beach or do some shopping (on foot). After dinner I'm biking down to Sunset Point to take pictures and then I'm getting up really early to watch the sun rise and take more pictures. And I'll probably find the time to run to CVS and buy Benadryl so I can actually sleep tonight. And a gluestick. I need a gluestick.

yay f0r the l0ng beachy island! [Jul. 16th, 2006|09:13 pm]
[feeling |sleepyn0t awake]
[stuck in head |chase the stars :: the third life]

So yay! I'm down on LBI! I haven't been here in 2 years, and boy is it good to be back. When I finish my first big film, the first thing I'm buying is a McMansion down here. Gosh, I love it. Yum.

Yesterday I woke up and did breakfast with Karl. He told me about a whackjob he gave his number to at work who called him within 30 minutes of him giving said number, and who is so forward that any girl paying any attention knows it's code for desperate. Which is kind of funny, because it just proves my theory that he's a whackjob magnet. I gave him my diagnosis and explained my success rate in predicting such things and told him he's not allowed to date her. And he was like, "Okay good, now when I stop talking to her and she asks why, I can tell her I'm not allowed to see her anymore because Angela says so." Exactly!

Then I packed and set up my printer all at the same time. I swore mightily at it (the printer) several times, but figured it all out in the end. It's a pretty sweet little printer. Yum yum. Then we drove to my grandmothers and dropped off Molly and then we were on our way.

The traffic was awful coming down, but I had my darling little iPod (whose name is Monkey, by the way, and yes, it was specifically so I could dance around singing "This is me and my Monkey") with me, bless it's little microprocessor. Listened to a bunch of stuff that I'd had on my computer for ages and never got around to listening to, like some Indigo Girls, a little Fall Out Boy, etc.etc. It was on random so I just let it go. I particularly enjoyed one song off a CD that I bought from the band themselves in a subway in Boston two winters ago that I had always kind of liked because it was pretty. I actually listened to the words though, yesterday, and I was touched. Made me start thinking. Scary, I know. Don't worry, the sensation didn't last too long, some Spamalot came and banished it. Foof.

So here. I scrapbooked for a bit, we had dinner, and then we went for a walk on the beach. Which turned into a hike of multiple blocks, which is not fun to do on dry sand. My calves were like, "WTF? What the hell are you doing, asshole?" We walked down to Aunt Ollies to get ice cream, but the line was out the door and we all kind of didn't want ice cream anymore, so we walked all the way back to Shipbottom and got slurpoees at the 7-11 instead. Hee hee. And then last night I slept like a rock. And since I didn't have my cellphone (which also serves as my watch) with me in the room, I couldn't tell what time it was and I thought it was late, so I made myself get up. And it was only 9 and change. I was like, "Goddammittttt!" etc. etc.

Saw you standin' there, just a hangin' around
Didn't know what to say, how to make a sound
How to cross the line back to where we were
It seemed to awefully far away, even if we couldn't stay
It'd be nice for awhile

We could chase the stars for a million miles
All across the Milky Way, even if we couldn't stay
It'd be nice for awhile

But that's how it goes, the way our story's told
We could never fill the space set between our goals
And you've got your life and I've got mine too
Couldn't hide it anymore, it was time to close the door
And to rewrite the page

We could chase the stars for a million miles
All across the Milky Way, even if we couldn't stay
It'd be nice for awhile

So every now and then when I look back to the end
I'll rewind for awhile
'Cause it seems to me everything you want to say
Is nothin'; that I try to make it mine and
Cross that distant line, but the way that it's goin' I know
It'll be just fine

The sun keep's a risin' and souls realizin' that I
Can make it, time can only take it, so every now and then
I'll rewind for awhile

We could chase the stars for a million miles
All across the Milky Way, even if we couldn't stay
It'd be nice for awhile
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(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2006|01:09 am]
[feeling |complacentc0mplacent]
[stuck in head |get the j0ke :: r0bbie williams]

I am laughing my ass off right now. I found my journal from Europe yesterday which enabled me to continue my Europe scrapbook. I'm going through typing up the bits I need for the scrapbook and I came across and entry I wrote from my hotel room in Zurich. I'd been watching BBC's top ten of the week or whatever they call it and I'd jotted down some names of artists I'd liked so I could download their stuff when I got back to America. The list is as follows:

-Daniel Powter

This is even more ironic because I was thinking that I really ought to go download the rest of that album later. Sorry, but that amused me.

So yeah, I'm back into the scrapbooking swing of things. I put my grad party book together (it's insanely cute) and now I'm stuck in the middle of the eternal debate: do I continue on with my Europe books or do the Graduation scrapbook first? The Grad one will take a lot less time and I'm thinking I should do it while it's all still fresh in my mind, but it's almost a year for Europe stuff. So who knows. Actually, I think it's a year tomorrow I left. Yeah, it is. Huh. Weird.
Yesterday I spent the morning running errands, which included blowing an entire paycheck at Michaels and A.C. Moore. Then I dug all of the yarn out of my room (there was SOO MUCH) and sorted into individual baggies by project, that way when I finish something I can just go grab another bag and it will be a surprise! And then I went to Cheesecake Factory with Alexis which was awesome because it was punctuated by boys' drama (via phone and text) and because I could eat anything I wanted and not feel guilty because I hadn't eaten anything all day. Literally. I've stopped eating breakfast because no matter what I eat my mother yells at me and I just got so caught up I forgot about lunch and snacking. So yeah. Was all good. We made a trip into B&N too, where I acquired two Clive Cussler books as well as another called How To Aggravate a Man Every Time (And Have Him Beg For Mercy). I'm excited.

Other things are good. Work's a bummer this week because of the goddam sales and all that shit. It's so freaking stressful, and not helped by my completely random bout of PMS even though it's like a week late. *shrug* Karl is still being strange, but I don't really care anymore. Greg is just being so completely fucked up, all drama-y and whiny and he's not usually that way. He's "confused" because apparently I keep calling him an asshole and this is offensive. But anyone who knows me very well knows I swear like a pirate all the time and when I call one of my friends that I'm joking 99% of the time. Seriously. Ask Shoji. Or Mattie. Or Karl. Whatever, man. He's "trying" you know, and this is why he's upset, apparently. Whatever, "trying" doesn't make up for being a complete jackass to me for a whole freaking year, give me a break.

So yeah, now I'm going to finish typing these up and at least finish the pages I'd started before I lost the journal (which was in one of the bags of yarn under my desk, funnily enough) and... then I'll figure out what to do. Whatever. Down LBI all next week. If you want to reserve a day to come down and visit, call me!

Sometimes you've got to get the joke
It's the only thing that keeps this boat afloat
Who put this chainsaw in my spokes?
I can't change how it's wrote
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2006|10:08 am]
I just took a quiz from CosmoGirl that says I'm too quiet and I should open up and loosen up around guys and maybe let them see how great I am at "telling stories". 

I found it amusing to say the very least.

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